Farewell

I created this blog in 2008 when I was just a silly 7th grader. It was the golden era of Blogspot in Indonesia, courtesy of Raditya Dika, Evita Nuh, and others. In that exact year, I was also introduced to the great enjoyment of reading fiction books by my classmates. Later, those inspired the little me and awaken my desire to write about every simple thing that happen in my life. 

Oversharing has been my prominent trait ever since I was a naive middle school girl, I suppose.

Unlike these days, this blog used to have many visitors per day. Mostly came from my classmates who wanted to read funny stories about themselves. Despite those being cringe now, I could understand why the little me (and friends) found those stories amusing. I guess this peculiar brain of mine has not evolved in terms of a sense of humour. I still think the way I did years ago, to be honest, but these amusing thoughts didn't survive into manuscripts now. I am a mature lady, thus I should refrain from writing in such unbefitting ways lol joking peeps.

The stark difference between the earlier and the latter blog entries is the mood. While I previously described the earlier entries which were somewhat funny (at least by the time I wrote those stories), the latter was more reflective a.k.a boring. Some of you might even wonder, why did I write those? Aren't those thoughts supposed to be very intimate? Why do I let random strangers from the internet read such intimate and candid thoughts of mine? Am I that naive?

The answer is, ever since 2019, I utilised this blog as one of the exercise tools for being more vulnerable--like I used to in middle school. The middle school me used to let the readers dive into my weird perspective on some events, something the adult me forget how to do. Being vulnerable is not an easy thing to do, but avoiding vulnerability is often the root cause of the problems the adult me get into. That is the reason I want to treat this: because I want to be vulnerable with people that are important to me.

And after almost 4 years, I think this training has come into success. I never felt a stronger bond with my closest ones including my friends and family. I have people I can rely on whenever I'm feeling strong emotions now, which is very liberating (why didn't I do this sooner?). My confidence is soaring high as a result. I’m no longer in my sad girl era: I’m in the happy era despite all the life problems I’m currently in.

One thing that I would love to point out: healing takes time. It is not a one or two weeks process but years instead. Not to mention that it is a humiliating and lonely process too. 

If you're currently on your healing journey, you should applaud yourselves for being aware of your problems and take action about them. This has proven the right mindset of yours. Many people are problematic yet they are not aware of it or worst, choose to continue to be the jerk they are. You are much better than those kinds of people.

And I thank you, dear readers, for being part of my healing journey although you may not realise it. Thank you for not saying a word to anyone else (to me, specifically) about anything in this blog. I may have deleted some posts you have read before so please, keep our little secret just to yourselves, yah.

I apologise for any cringiness (?) I may have induced in this blog. Oh, and grammatical errors. Please pardon all the errors because I wrote most of the entries past midnight lol I'm half asleep.

I'm officially signing out from this blog, yah. Adios.

See you on a different platform.